145

I'm doing a little bit better. Yesterday I fasted all day and ate a 200 calorie frozen meal. Today I'm going to try and do the same thing, only the meal is 220 calories. Oh well. I should be good until later. I woke up at 4 for some reason. Once my mom gets up I'll tell her, and I'll probably go to sleep again until it's time to get my hair done. Then I'll get my hair done at like twelve. I'm not sure how long that takes, maybe an hour. THEN she'll want to go get food. And I'll tell her that I ate a bunch of candy, a banana, and popcorn while she was asleep and that my stomach hurts. I'll also remind her that we have food at home and such. Maybe I'll try and convince her that we should go to my aunt's house because I want to weigh myself NOW. But I'll make up some bullshit excuse about how I miss them, blah blah. I just want to get to 140 sooo bad. It shouldn't take too long, maybe by Wednesday if I don't fuck up. I just really want to reach 137 by the end of the month. That isn't too hard, is it? I have like 16 days to lose, what, 8 pounds? It's doable. I really want to write some more fanfiction but I'm SO tired right now I can barely write this. I'm not feeling so wonderfully creative. Oh, I know what I'll do today. After I get my hair done I'll tell my mom that I have to do all my homework. And I really do. It takes me like five or so hours. So that should take up most of the day, and then I'll sleep. And then much later, around seven thirty or so, I'll have that frozen meal. So everybody wins. I just really want to be able to wear those little cute dresses. I'm probably just going to spend the next few hours on some clothes website and dreaming that I can actually wear the clothes without looking like a hot mess. My cousin' wedding is on the 23rd of November, and I'd like to be 125 by then. PLEASE. 125. Not too much to ask for, I think. 



147.

I've eaten since I weighed in, so it's probably more now. But still... that's eleven pounds I've lost so far. The only one to comment on my weight loss is my cousin, just because she's trying to lose weight (she's a bit overweight) so she notices when other people do. The next time I see her, I want to weigh even less. Hopefully 140 or 139. I'd be so happy :) Anyway, I need to stop eating to much. Today I've had:
slice pizza
turkey sandwich
fish&onions
plain potato.

Embarrassing. Probably around 1000 calories... I'm praying I don't gain. I'm going to weigh myself first thing in the morning. Maybe it'll go down, maybe it'll go up. I'm praying for down, but who knows. I've got a bunch of homework to do... so I won't be eating much tomorrow if at all. Probably nothing. I've got a bit of motivation.

2 pounds down this month.

Will weigh in later...

My stomach in concave (FINALLY) and I have bad stomach pains. My hands are shaking, my legs are shaking. When I stand or sit up I get bad pains in my stomach and my heart starts racing and I feel like I'm about to pass out. Despite all this, I'm glad its finally fucking back. I'd take this over being fat anyday. Got a short cramp in my calf, not fun. I'm starting to participate in PT again, and I feel like it's going to be good for me.

Goal for October:
Lose ten pounds.
Start taking a multivitamin daily.
Non binging.
Start talking to a boy.
Work out five days of the week.

Rewards for meeting at least two goals:
At the end of October/beginning of November, I will go and get my nails done with a friend.

I'll post again when I weigh myself later todayy. Hopefully it's good news.