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Even though I ate like a pig (I thought I did) this whole weekend, I lost .7 pounds. Good deal. On Friday I went to dinner with Lauren and then I stayed the night at her house. She fell asleep before eleven. I can tell she's so unhappy about losing her other best friend, and now to fill the void, she's best friends with the one boy I hate most in the world... But anyway. I hate seeing her so lonely. I feel bad that I hung out with soeone besides her this weekend, because I NEVER used to do that. It was always just her making me leave her house because she had to go to somewhere, and I would just go home and sit around by myself. But I didn't mind the solitude, I like being alone more than being with other people.


Saturday was pretty good. Besides being with my ex-best friend Shane (girl, we grew apart when Lauren moved back). We went to some party in Chesterton, a bonfire really, and she was getting on my nerves the whole way there and I didn't want to go at all but you know, there was nothing better for me to do. So anyway, we picked up this guy she fucked that has a girlfriend. I don't get how she gets guys beause in my opinion she's fucking hideous and annoying as fuck. And fat But anyways, TJ ended up being pretty cool ad we all hung out at his park for like an hour while we waited for the party to start. I found a stick that had the word "bitch" written on it, so I kept it as a souvenier. So, we went to the party and the guy throwing it is in love with dubstep, so I was all excited. Turns out all thos kids love dubstep, but Shane had no clue what it was until I let her listen to some, and she hated it, but when the kid played it she acted like she loved the shit. Did I mention that me and TJ didn't know anyone that was going to be at this party? The only people we knew was Shane, and then eachother. Then Shane and the kid that threw the party left to get lighter fluid and it was awkward but me and TJ talked a bit and he's a chhill guy, even though I would probably never have spoken to him otherwise. Then, while they were gone, my life fucking changed.


Not to be dramatic, but while me and TJ were sitting there by ourselves, this guy popped out of no where. And my fucking god. The boy was fucking gorgeous. His name is Joe, Shane told me, and he's super tall and has blonde hair, and his face is fucking chiseled and he was smoking a cigarette and it was the sexiest thing I have ever seen in my life. And he was talking but I could hear, but I know I talked to him. And then he started messing with the fire and I just watched him and decided that I've never seen a more beautiful creature in my whole existence. So I told Shane about it later when she came, and with her big ass mouth she fucking told everyone I wanted to fuck him, WHICH I HADN'T SAID (yet) and still, why the fuck would you go on telling people that? Anyway, Joe is fucking perfect, but he was in a bad mood at the party for some reason so he didn't talk much. But he likes country music, he's a country boy, and he's loaded, but he loves dub and plays the guitar, and just OMG. Beautiful. Later, it got really cold so TJ made me change him seats, and I ended up sitting right across from Joe, and when I sat down he like, leaned forward and just sat like that the whole time. And he kept looking at me, adn I kept looking at him, and our knees almost touched. Then a lot of the kids wanted to leave because I guess the party was too straight-edge for them (I felt the same way) and they wanted Joe to go with them. He got up to go, but then he ended up coming back, and I said, "I thought you left." and he was all, "Yeah... I thought I might stay a bit longer." and he like looked me dead in the eye and my heart was beating so fast, I didn't know what to say. But really, nothing happened. We were left completely alone for a good ten minutes, but nothing. Eventually he left, and I was a bit upset. Like honestly, I have never seen someone so perfect in my whole life. But then he left and I got to talk to some of the other kids there, and they were all really cool. I added them on facebook. I was too scared to add Joe, but I finally just sucked it up and did it. I'm sad to say, I had a mini-heartattack/freakout when I saw he added me. I'd date him in a heartbeat, I don't care about the distance. It's only like fifteen minutes away. OH, and he has my dream car. Don't tell me that doesn't mean we aren't meant to be. <3


Anyway, I'm not eating today. Maybe if I was skinnier, he would have given me his number...